Do only knuckleheads have perseverance? No, research shows that willpower is like a muscle. You can train it.
Ask a successful person the secret of his success and nine times out of ten the answer is:'work hard and don't give up.'
What's the difference?
Why is it that some people persevere when the going gets tough, and others don't? Is it really possible for everyone to be successful? The answer is yes, says Hugo Alberts, psychologist and researcher at Maastricht University. “One of the problems people often encounter when they have set themselves a goal is 'will exhaustion'.
Limited self-control
People often think:if I push myself hard enough, I will eventually achieve my goal. But that's a misunderstanding. Research shows that every person has only a limited amount of energy for self-control. By that I mean:being able to control yourself, resist temptation and motivate yourself to keep going. To give an example:if you have already declined a bar of chocolate, it will be more difficult to start exercising immediately afterwards than if you had not declined that bar.'
Just like a muscle
Our 'persistence energy' is therefore scarce and can run out if we get too hard on ourselves. But we can do something about that. Alberts:'Perseverance is comparable to a muscle. A muscle gets tired after repeated use. He then needs rest to recover. But you can also train a muscle to get stronger, so that it can gradually handle more and more. This way you can train your perseverance by doing different things throughout the day that require self-control. That can range from saying no to unhealthy food or alcohol, to checking your email or Facebook less often, or exercising in the evening instead of lounging on the couch. But beware:excess is harmful! Try to limit the self-monitoring, especially in the beginning, to a few times a day. Don't let those moments sit too close together. If you do, you run the risk of volitional exhaustion again.”
Self-insight
Besides training our self-control, there is something else that can lead to more perseverance:self-insight. “Knowing how and why you lose your temper is the best way to improve your self-control,” says American psychologist Kelly McGonigal in The Power of Will. According to McGonigal, most people try to hide their weaknesses, not only from others, but also from themselves. That's a shame, she says, because those weaknesses are just so instructive. So instead of hiding them, we should take a closer look at our weak spots and come up with creative solutions for them.
Make the road worthwhile
"The road we travel to achieve a goal takes many times longer than reaching the goal itself," says Hugo Alberts. “In addition, research shows that achieving a goal often only gives you a short feeling of happiness. So it's better to make sure that the road there is also worth it and therefore not an ordeal.' And he emphasizes:Be gentle with yourself when things go wrong. Alberts:'Many people wrongly think that their inner critical voice helps them to change. But research shows the opposite. People who are kinder to themselves, i.e. have more self-compassion, are more willing to admit and correct their mistakes.'
Don't lie
But we're not just too hard on ourselves. Often we are not honest about our real motivations. Because who are we really working so hard for:for ourselves, for others, or just for the money? Alberts:'Research shows that people who do something they enjoy, or because they really want to, have much less trouble persevering. So the most important question you should ask yourself is:why am I doing what I am doing and what do I want to achieve with it?
